Have you ever heard someone refer to Christians as being mean? I am not talking about the world of Christian-haters who despise everything about us because we contest their social agenda. They will call us unloving no matter what we do. But I am mainly talking about Christians and non-Christians who may have visited a local church and had a bad encounter with a member of that church.
Some time ago, I was listening to a local pastor preaching. He commented about a visitor who had been coming to their church on Sundays and all of a sudden stopped attending. According to him, he saw her in public one day and asked her why she stopped coming. She said it was because some members of the church made offensive comments about her attire. They in no uncertain terms told her that what she was wearing was inappropriate. She said she wore the same outfit each Sunday because it was all she had to wear.
To escape the criticism, she stopped attending the church. I don’t know the rest of the story. But it underscores the importance of us being kind to others.
Writing to the church at Ephesus, Paul the apostle wrote, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32, NASB). Again, Paul wrote these words to the saints at Ephesus. That means being kind to others is not incidental to being a Christian. If it were, there would be no need to address the matter.
In the verse, Paul refers to tenderheartedness and forgiveness. These are two vital components of kindness. For we cannot be kind to others if we lack tenderheartedness and forgiveness.
Saved to Show Kindness
It is ironic that some Christians fail to be kind to others. Ironic, I say, because no bona fide Christian lacks the ability to be kind. Every Christian has what it takes to be kind to others.
One, because the Spirit of God indwells us. Since God is love, through His Spirit, we have the power within us to love others. And love includes being kind to others. Furthermore, the Holy Spirit is not dormant in us. On the contrary, He is strongly but gently leading us to show the love of God to others.
Nonetheless, the choice to be obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit remains with us.
Two, through spiritual rebirth, God changes our heart from stony to tender. Consider this New Testament promise found in the book of Ezekiel:
“Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26, NASB).
Based upon this prophecy, a genuine Christian’s default disposition toward others is that of tenderheartedness. Christians who display a heart of stone toward others have chosen to allow their flesh to govern their actions.
But what about when someone has wronged you to the extent that you feel the person does not deserve your kindness? Are you justified in holding back on kindness? God forbid. In the verse quoted above, Paul writes, “forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” No matter how badly someone has wronged us, it pales in comparison to our offenses against God.
Taking Kindness Beyond the Church
In his epistle, Paul was speaking specifically to the saints at Ephesus. But it goes without saying that we should not only be kind to fellow Christians. Just as importantly—perhaps even more so–we should show kindness toward unbelievers everywhere. This way we manifest ourselves as the light of the world and the salt of the earth. Thereby, the world can see Christ in us.
Today, we live in an increasingly unkind world. Why is that when kindness costs us so little but accomplishes so much? To be sure, this is a sign that we are living in the last days. “Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold,” Jesus said concerning the last days (Matthew 24:12, NASB).
“Kindness” or “gentleness” is a component of the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Our failure to be kind to others grieves the Holy Spirit. Hence, Paul preceded his appeal for the church members to be kind to others with these words: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (Ephesians 4:30, NASB).
It goes without saying that being rude to or inconsiderate of others should have no place in the life of Christians. It undermines the overarching Christian message of love. Sad but true, a lack of Christian kindness toward others may be the reason some unbelievers won’t attend your local church.
Copyright © 2024 by Frank King. All rights reserved.
